It's night

Back from Tehran. and bringing my tiredness home. Hmmm ...

Back Home

Well, I'm back home now. Driving back from the factory to Mashhad for 2 hours, doing 120 Km/hour. Tired but feeling safe and home!

Am gonna fly to Tehran on tomorrow morning, having this meeting with our Finnish supplier, making up the old patches, trying to improve the situation, taking them some checks and money.

While I was driving back home, I was feeling I'm nothing but a "Soldier". Running, Sweating, Fighting, Shooting, Getting shot, Putting bandage on the wounds, Licking the wounds, Grabbing the gun again and Shooting the problems and enemies again, in the head, in the chest, once again and some more. This is my "Job". A Soldier's.

I do love my job. I'm not talking about money, or position or that kind of stuff. I mean the Job. It helps me feel alive. And I do love my gun, I do love my bullets, and I do love "fighting for" something, being in the game ...

You can feel the nights better when you have spent a bloody day in the battle field.
Gonna go and grab a cup of tea with my sweetheart. :-)

Laters!

My Ego is being transformed into something else!

I'm learning to become selfish. To put the oxigen mask on my own mouth before on anyone else's. To think about my own self before thinking about any one else's. This whole life is becoming to look somehow else. Not necessarily better, or worse, but different. And I've started to feel that the "better" weight is heavier than the "worse" one, in my new style. "YOU gotta come first". That's the motto on the wall of my mind now.



Go Hiking - 2nd part

We got home last night at 1 A.M after eating out and hubble-bubbling out! I dreamt about go hiking only! Just woke up! The only picture I can share is this one.

Go Hiking

This is what I'm planning to do. After long years of being drowned in work and study and being away from all body-building and walking I used to be doing, now it's really about time to start something I could gain both physical and mental benefits from.

Doing the job I'm doing now is burying me under heavy stress and pressure. This is the case for "now" however, and if I "keep" doing it in the same way I'm doing it now, there will be left no such thing as heart inside of me.

The worst part about go hiking is getting up early on the only day of the week you could sleep late and after the only night of the week you may stay up late. Getting over this "snag" is a real challange for a guy like me who is mostly in short of sleep during the week.

However, it's what I'm gonna do. And I'm gonna do that on every friday (Fridays are weekend in Iran and nobody goes to work- Like Sundays in other countries), and tomorrow is the "first" friday I'm gonna do it. (July 1st of 2011)

I will put some pics of where I have gone hiking in here on tomorrow night, hopefully. It is gonna be the beginning of a "life-time" activity. Reminding the Barney of "How I met your mother": I'm Awesome!

Workaholic



So, it is me! What then?

These days I'm getting this and that "label" and I'm being accused of being a jerk who pays 99.99% of his attention to the thing called "Job".

But, how could I possibly "not" be so? Sometimes, for example for impressing my boss and to complain about the work pressure I am under, I would say something like "I won't be doing those extra parts of the job because it is out of my realm and I don't have enough time and/or energy to take care of all package all alone and my salary must get in the same frame with my job's outcome and etc etc." But this is simply bullshit! As long as I am working in this current job, I can not help myself being drowned in it and doing some extra-ordinary efforts. I "must" get something done right, and I am really "incapable" of making an excuse to justify why I could not!

From the other hand, my personal life is being negatively affected. I mean there is "no" such thing as "Personal Life" for me, indeed. Thanks to the Goddamn technology, I am always connected to the Internet via Cellphone and/or Laptop. And since we are working with both Asia and Europe and Latin America, the emails keep coming 24 hours a day and around-the-clock! So, once I hear my cell beeps (1 Email) I have to check that! I have to think about the situation. I have to prepare the feedback. And I have to take action for it.

And that is what annoys my wife a lot. However, I really can not see a way out! I am really trying to live a "balanced" work/life thing, but the more I try the less I succeed. The situation is now even worse by my wife's going to work as well. Now she understands how I have been feeling better, but what is the point? She is also tired and we both come back home half-dead in the evening and there is no time left to go out and let some fresh air blow into our hair.

Anyhow, ... I am still trying to provide a balance for this unbalanced one-sided life.

Twisted Luftansa

Today's a new challange. I am accused of something for which I have done no wrong. Got to defend my own stand and explain the different aspects of the story to a bunch of shit-heads who are paid not to listen and not to accept. This is disgusting. Fuck! It's the only word which can express how I feel now.



A new book to eat

Considering the promotion I've gotten in last weeks , I'm finding myself reading a book called What to do when you become the Boss!

It's a very inspirational and useful book, actually. However it seems Iranian working and organizational culture is something far from the international ones.

The system down here is a very exclusive one, and one must be a phony jerk to keep going ahead. I will be writing some points down here though, reviewing my own progress in my own pace in my own country.

Laters!